Why I started Feral Scholar.com

I first heard the term feral scholar from Stan Goff sometime in 2004 or 2005. My wife and I helped Stan set up his website stangoff.com and later worked with De Alexander to move it and launch feralscholar.org. It’s an amazing site full of really smart people discussing issues like war, food, and feminism. I encourage you to check it out. This site feralscholar.com is inspired by Stan and his writings yet will be different. I registered the dot com domain with his blessing. I’ll be writing and linking on this blog to explore the different ways we learn. My primary motivation is creating a resource for people to teach themselves.

My Path

I have a high school diploma and a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Sculpture and Painting. I mention this not to establish my expertise but to show my relationship to the world of academia. I have not formally studied education or pedagogy.

I am influenced and inspired by many academicians both friends and teachers. Matter of fact I live in a college town and have spent time in several others. I imagine its because I enjoy the company of intellectuals. They tend to congregate around colleges and universities.

Both of my parents have graduate degrees. I am privileged to have been around educated people who passed on their love of reading, knowledge, and the pursuit of it. By privileged I mean I have an advantage that I realize is special. A position that is primarily gained because of my race, Caucasian, and the class, upper middle, I was born into.

Learning has always been hard for me. While in public school in Virginia I had a hard time studying and my grades where poor. In the seventh grade my parents held me back and forced me to repeat the grade. They felt that I needed to spend a full year retaking math classes I had failed. At the time my school guidance councilor has said that I could easily retake the classes in summer school. For some reason my parents did not think that was sufficient and ignored the advice of my councilor. She didn’t think I needed to suffer through another year. I did and watched all my friends move on.

When I made it to high school I was noticeably older than all my peers. I had a drivers license before everyone. (A big deal in our automobile culture.) The next four years where not much better that the past four. The only class I remember liking was art class. But even that was dominated by a cruel teacher who didn’t know how to handle a difficult kid with serious family problems.

The thing I remember the most from high school was something a substitute teacher said. I’ve forgotten almost everything else any other regular teacher said. One day I was working on some math problems. I was having a really hard time. I raised my hand and asked the substitute, “Why do I need to know this math?” He walked over to my desk and said “If for no other reason than to learn how to love learning.” That struck me as important and has never left my mind.

I was lucky to get into college. I got in based mostly on my art portfolio. My GPA was low and my grades where bad. My first year at university was really tough. I failed many classes. Especially the ones that required memorization and regurgitation on tests. The summer after my freshman year I moved to another college town in the mountains. A rural retreat compared to the city life I was living. The following semester I didn’t return to university.

After another year of working I decided school had to be easier. I felt a deep pressure, from my parents and myself, to get a degree. Upon returning I did much better. I had found motivation to learn new things. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. Not in a field of study I had convinced myself I was stupid in but areas that allowed me to invent my path.

My first job out of college was doing design and layout for a eighty five page book. A local art professor asked me if I knew “how to use a computer”. I said yes. I didn’t know anything about desktop publishing. But I learned on the job. This “training” gave me just enough skill and experience to apply for my next job. Doing pre-press layout and design for a printer. I now had a career in graphic design.

This job kickstarted the rest of my life and allowed me to support myself. It hasn’t been a smooth road but it has been fruitful and happy.

Looking back on my path has caused me to question some of the things I was told in high school and college. Over and over again my school mates and I where told we MUST go to college. We where told If we didn’t go we wouldn’t have a life. That we would not be able to find a job without a college degree. The fear of being unemployed and unable to support ourselves is a powerful motivator.

It turned out you can have a good life and a job without a college degree. Just not the class ideal that adults in my life wanted. They were primarily upper and middle class people who believed in the American dream of upward mobility. The belief that if you worked hard and received several degrees that you could make a lot of money. A prerequisite, in the culture I grew up in, for happiness.

The problem is there is not enough room in the the universities that provide passes to the middle and upper class. The American academic system was originally built to include only certain types of people. Mostly Caucasian youth with parents who respect the system and have money.

My Motivation

I’ve always wanted to study in university more. I’ve applied for graduate school and thought about getting a PhD. Primarily because I wish I could spend more time learning and discovering. But my grades and test scores made that impossible. Now that those things matter less I don’t have the time or money.

It wasn’t until long after I left college that I realized I could learn and discover outside academia.

My path I described above one was not a happy one. It has biased me against educational systems that only include specific kinds of learners.

I’m also a parent. In a few years my son will be entering kindergarten. I think my wife and I will be choosing public school for our son. So many reasons that deserve another blog post. But I am skeptical about sending my son through the same system that was so difficult and unhappy for me. Yet I realize he is different than me and may really enjoy and thrive in public school.

Being a parent is really motivating. It encourages me to discover all kinds of ways for my son to learn. Especially to find a ways for him to love learning for its sake. With the dramatic changes afoot for universities and our economy I feel its imperative we all consider choices for our education besides getting a degree. They are very expensive and put many students into crippling debt. A position that forces people to work jobs they hate and live specific kinds of lives in America.

If I had to choose one major motivation for this blog it would be to help people find ways to teach themselves that will help them live lives they want.

DRAFT: This post is a living document and subject to change.